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A giant yellow star that squints harder than Michael Dudikoff is suing a clown that’s married to a woman named Cricket. That’s right, another war is happening and this time It’s Personal. It seems that Carl’s Jr. is feeling litigious against Jack in the Box for a series of commercials that are currently running. Slow news day I guess…

I could give a flying pig’s eye about who is going to win this one. Jack in the Crack uses onion in their mayo and CJ’s hasn’t made a decent burger since ol’ Carl was ousted back in ‘93.

This is why the rest of the world laughs at us.

On a personal note, I used to be a Box Boy/Bagger/Convenience Clerk…whatever the kids call it these days, and one time I had the pleasure of bagging the items that were being purchased by none other than Carl N. Karcher (Mr. Carl’s Jr.). This was at Alpha-Beta #28, on Euclid at La Palma in Anaheim, CA, sometime during the year of 1991. Mr. Karcher was a very nice old gentleman. I remember that he only bought a bunch of ketchup and beer, something that I found odd at the time but which I perfectly understand now.

I just got finished watching this high-larious pilot that never got picked up for a television show. Written by Conan O’Brien and Robert Smigel, starring Adam West, “Lookwell” takes us on a journey with Ty Lookwell, a former actor that used to have a detective show, as he tries to solve the mystery of the stolen cars.

Too bad this thing never made it, Adam West was frickin’ funny with some great lines… “Perhaps if you watched a bit more television you’d be better at your job” and “It’s all the rage in Minnesota” are a couple of my favorites. So if you have twenty-three minutes go watch.

War? What war? Oh. The cola wars. Hmm. Seems like a couple of idiots thought they’d put The Squeeze on Coca-Cola by stealing some trade secrets and selling them to Pepsi. How come this has never happened with KFC and Popeye’s?